When you choose a partner, you’re choosing a set of philosophies, a personality, preferences, a communication style, habits, a lifestyle - all specific to that person.
With these attributes, you are then choosing a story. This is because this person will have a way of being, that will unfold and interact with your own attributes. What then happens in this interaction, is that a story begins. The interaction between your habits and theirs, your philosophy of the world and theirs, your lifestyle and theirs, your communication style and theirs. This interaction is what creates a story - one starts to influence the other, and depending on how gracefully that influence is received and perceived, it will be difficult if there is resistance and non-negotiables.
Then, you must imagine the story as having a certain genre. It won’t be at all a light hearted one if there is consistent clash between yourself and them. It’ll be quite a horror story or a sad one. Or a dramatic one. And when I talk about a genre, I’m not saying that it won’t have a mix of positive and negative, but it’ll be dictated mainly by one or the other.
And whatever that genre becomes to be, it will dictate your quality of life. Because the quality of our relationships dictate the quality of our lives.
Be intentional and careful when choosing a partner. And pay attention to patterns - are you repeating the same story over and over again? Is there a story from the past you just can’t let go of? Why? Who did that story entail? What were the characters? And what was your role? What was the plot?