Couples therapy vs Individual therapy: relationship and sex issues

What does one expect in couples therapy that they won't find in individual therapy?

This is a great question for those who seek therapy for relationship issues, sex issues and intimacy issues. Often, we have to decide which route to take, couples therapy or individual therapy.

Let's take a look first at couples therapy and what can expect in the therapy space.

1. First is first, in couples therapy the relationship is the client. The couples therapist is there to help both partners understand what the relationship issue is and support change in the dynamics between the two partners. It is about how the two people interact, not just about each person individually.

2. The couples therapist is there to give the relationship a voice. The couples therapist helps partners explore what the relationship lacks and therefore is in need of.

3. True listening. Couples therapy is a space for you to build a team with your partner, and in order to do that we need to build a foundation for the relationship - often this foundation is wobbly and weak when couples choose to go therapy. Active listening and communication skills are what the couples therapist often works on to help partners hear each other out and understand the relationship issues. This is one of the most effective skills you and your partner will learn in couples therapy - to truly listen to each other and start understanding the needs of your partner that may have landed on deaf ears, all because you've stopped listening.

4. Couples therapy is also the space to address intimacy and sexual issues. This may include sexual dysfunctions like vaginismus, erectile dysfunction, dyspareunia, rapid ejaculation, delayed ejaculation, low sexual desire. Emotional and physical intimacy are essential components of a healthy marriage/relationship. Couples therapy can help address these concerns by encouraging open and transparent communication about sex, sexuality and sexual needs. The therapist will help you and your partner to rekindle emotional and physical connection.

As opposed to individual therapy, the person is the client. The therapist will help you explore your internal world - thoughts, emotions and patterns in the relationship. This is all to understand yourself better and how you might be contributing to the relationship.

Couples therapy or individual therapy for relationship issues? A difficult choice to make, but both will give you different things.

Now, goals will look different between couples therapy and individual therapy. Here is how:

The primary goals in couples therapy versus individual therapy:

Couples therapy	Individual therapy
Improve communication	Understand yourself more deeply
Resolve conflict	Heal from trauma or manage mental health issues (e.g., anxiety, depression)
Rebuild trust or intimacy (sexual and emotional)	Develop coping tools and self-awareness
Understanding recurring conflicts/patterns	Work through personal goals, identity, or emotions
Decide whether to stay together (and how)	Understand own needs from the relationship

Tips for deciding which route to take for relationship issues and sex issues

• Couples therapy is most effective when both partners are willing to engage honestly and work on themselves and the relationship.

• Individual therapy can begin any time you're ready to look inward — even if your partner isn't ready or involved.

• If your main concern is your own mental health, trauma, or personal growth → individual therapy is often the best fit.

• If the biggest issue is conflict, disconnection, or repeated tension between you and your partner → couples therapy is better suited.

• Sometimes, you might need the space to reflect on what you truly think and feel about your partner or relationship. Individual therapy can be helpful as the first stop for this.

  
  

  That said, many people benefit from doing both — sometimes at the same time or at different stages.