Marriage counselling/couples therapy - near you or online?

Does marriage counselling or couples therapy have to be in-person, or can it be online?

Whether location matters for marriage counselling/couples therapy is a valid question to ask. I get asked this often in consultation calls.

First, let's break it down. Does online couples therapy work?

Yes, online couples therapy/marraige counselling does work.

In fact, research shows that it can be as effective as in-person couples therapy/marriage counselling for many couples. We know that the biggest predictor of whether psychotherapy works is not so much the skills or type of therapy, but the quality of the therapist. Quality of the therapist includes the relationship between the therapist and the client. So, location does not really matter.

Another factor for what predicts whether couples therapy will work is commitment from both partners and consistency. Couples therapy, whether online or in-person only really ever work if the two partners are willing to do the work. Just like any form of therapy.

Studies do show that relationships do have similar improvements in communication, intimacy and conflict resolution as they would from in-person therapy, as long as they are consistent and engaged in the work.

Online couples therapy/marriage counselling

Benefits of online marriage counselling/couples therapy

1. Accessibility - you can take couples sessions from anywhere, particularly ideal for long-distance couples . It also helps with busy schedules.

2. Comfort - you might feel safer discussing sensitive issues at home.

3. Flexibility - easier to schedules regular sessions without losing time to travel

Some potential challenges to online couples therapy:

1. Technology issues: internet/wifi connectivity problems, or unfamiliarity with video platforms can interrupt sessions.

2. Nonverbal cues: Therapists might pick up on body language less easily than in-person.

3. Engagement: Some couples find it harder to stay fully present at home with distractions.

Tips to make the most of online marriage counselling/couples therapy

• Make sure you are checking their credentials; not every therapist is trained as a couples/relationship therapist.

• Schedule uninterrupted sessions in a private, quiet space. You may lose time from your session and not be able to make full use of it.

• Agree on goals and homework between sessions.

• Commit together — both partners should actively participate in the couples therapy. A relationship takes two to tango, so there is no point if one is in and the other is out.