Why do people close their eyes during sex? Or is open-eyes sex better?

Eye contact is a powerful way to connect in love, but during sex many close their eyes. Why not keep the eyes open?

As they say, "the eyes are the windows to the soul". Our eyes play a tremendous factor in being able to express ourselves. Research has shown the importance of faces in communicating important information in our interactions with people and capturing attention (Bolmont et al., 2014). In fact, mutual eye gaze is argued to be a reliable marker of love between couples. So, why do people close their eyes during sex?

Not everyone closes their eyes during sex, but it is common. The absence of eye contact during sex can also be engineered by having sex with the light off, or having blindfolded sex.

There is something about the role of imagination and fantasy in sex.

There is an important role of imagination in love and sexual desire. When we use our imagination in love it is often about positive illusions, and we do not know about the falsity of the content. However, when people engage in fantasies in sex, we are not ignorant about the falsities of the fantasies.

Sexual fantasies can help us cope with our insecurities, limitations, suboptimal realities, external inconveniences. When we fantasise, our brains do a very good job at neglecting information that is contrary to the imagined picture. We get into detachment mode and remain focused and not distracted. Therefore, we can fantasise about the most outrageous content just as we like it - that is the power of the brain in fantasy operation. It is not a surprise why some people can achieve orgasms by fantasy alone, without needing any physical stimulation.

Eyes closed in sex increases pleasure.

Closing eyes in sex enhances sensory experience too, as it reduces visual input, therefore heightening sensitivity to physical touch, sound and body awareness. It allows one to be present and immersed in the sexual act. In turn, this can increase sexual pleasure and emotional intensity and connection. We know that sex is not what you do, but where you go.

This is similar to how people close their eyes when listening to music deeply or savouring food — it enhances immersion and presence.

Closed eyes in sex means greater intimacy and vulnerability in sex.

Many people can also experience deeper emotional or erotic connections with their partners and themselves. It can feel like surrendering or letting go of control. Interestingly, it can also increase trust in the relationship - we allow ourselves to be in the moment fully without needing to monitor our partner's gaze or reactions. This can reduce self-consciousness and promote emotional openness, vulnerability and even more sexual fantasies.

This is why blindfolded sex appeals to people. It can spice things ups in the bedroom, reduce inhibitions (physical or psychological), shutting down one sense intensifies others, adds elements of surprise in sex and can give you control over your partner (if they are blindfolded).

There are also other kinds of reasons why people close their eyes in sex.

Avoidance or disconnection

For some people, closing their eyes in sex can signal discomfort, dissociation or emotional distancing - especially if sex feels unsafe, pressured, or emotionally disconnected. Survivors of trauma or those who experience anxiety during sex may unconsciously close their eyes to detach or “disappear” mentally.

Self-consciousness or shame

People who struggle with body image or performance anxiety may close their eyes to avoid feeling seen. This can be protective in the short term but may block deeper connection if it becomes a pattern. It can be a temporary relief from vulnerability or fear of judgment.

What about lights on?

Research shows that having sex with the lights on can lead to better sex. Exposure to light can boost men’s levels of testosterone (Koukouna et al., 2016).

Seeing your partner’s face, eyes, and expressions in the moment can also create a stronger sense of connection. Eye contact during sex, in particular, can foster trust and vulnerability, deepening the bond between partners.

Lights on or eyes open in sex can also invite you to be fully seen, which can help you work through body shame or self-consciousness over time. Partners who see and appreciate each other’s bodies in a loving context can help build mutual confidence.

Initially, lights-on sex may feel intimidating — but over time, it can normalize being seen, making sex less anxiety-provoking. It can encourage authenticity rather than hiding or “performing” in the dark. If you feel concerns around this, individual therapy with a pyschosexual therapist/sex therapist can be a safe space to explore this further. Couples therapy can also help if you wish to do this with your partner.

All that being said, preferences vary. If lights-on sex feels uncomfortable, that discomfort can offer useful insight into body image, vulnerability, or relational dynamics — which can be gently explored over time. Many people also open their eyes at the beginning of sex and then close their eyes later on, toward climax. Eye-closing can also be done in different ways and sequences, such as dimming the lights or being blindfolded.

In couples therapy, a good psychosexual therapist/sex therapist can always help you and your partner to understand your sexual relationship better and improve communication about sex, intimacy and desires more openly and honestly.