Some sexual disorders such as erecticle dyfunction (impotence) and loss of sexual desire are often caused by a number of medical problems. These may include poor penile circulation, hormonal imbalances and the side effects of certain medications.
As for premature ejaculation, the cause is often psychological. It is still always a good idea to have a medical examination to rule out physical causes. However, if you have no illnesses and are not taking any drugs and your erections and sex drive are okay, the problem is most likely psychological.
However, one important exception is: if a man who has had adequate ejaculatory control previously begins to come rapidly. It could mean a drug or illness is causing sexual side effects. Late occuring PE can also be the first sign of more serious problems such as diabetes or a neurological disease, i.e. multiple sclerosis (it damages the nerves that control ejaculation) or a urological disorder such as urethritis.
Good news: many of the physical conditions can successfully be treated if detected in time. So do consult a physician, doctor or medical sex therapist or a urologist who specialises in sex disorders before trying any psychological treatments.
Psychological causes of premature ejaculation
LACK OF SEXUAL SENSORY AWARENESS
Premature ejaculators never develop a normal sense of what their genitals feel like when they're highly excited and about to come. This sensory deficit is often the key cause and also the cure of premature ejaculation.
It is now a known fact that one must have a certain level of sensory awareness and feedback to learn to control any and all voluntary bodily functions.
Reasons why premature ejaculators fail to develop the sexual sensory awareness it takes to acquire ejaculatory control include:
Simply getting too intensely excited to register their penile sensations
First sexual experiences are in tense situations causing boys/men to tune out everything including their sexual feelings. They finish as quickly as possible and never get out of that habit
Other premature ejaculators remain unaware of their sensuous feelings because they are too concerned about their sexual performance. These men are in an inner contest to get the highest 'grade' as lovers, instead of relaxing and enjoying their sexuality
Many premature ejaculators feel too pressured about pleasing their partners. During sex, their minds are so filled with fears of being criticised or judged or rejected and with checking out their partner's responses they cannot possibly stay in touch with their own sexual sensations
Some men feel to guilty about masturbating, having sexual intercourse or about their sexual fantasies to allow themselves to register their feelings of pleasure
In summary, you probably came fast since the first time you had sex. Unlike many other young men who also came fast in the beginning but then went onto develop normal control, you have been repeating the error of avoiding the full awareness of your erotic feelings again and again each time you make love. Now you are stuck with the habit. And the habit does not correct itself alone. Rather, in sex therapy, we teach you to heighten systematically the level of sexual sensory awareness - a very highly successful treatment.
A good psychosexual therapist can help you through this process.
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