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In order to break a pattern, you need to respond differently.

What kind of patterns am I talking about? Patterns of relating. We all have a particular way in which we respond to other people and our environment. ⁣


Someone might have a pattern of avoiding the ‘endings’ of something so they run before something ends. Or they might numb themselves out to not feel the grief of that ending.⁣

Someone might have a pattern of always saying ‘yes’ to a particular authority because of the fear of rejection learnt very early on as a child. ⁣

Someone might have a pattern of always choosing partners with low self-esteem because this is the way they know to feel ‘secure’ and more superior because of the type of partners they saw to be chosen by their caregivers.⁣

The first step of realising these patterns is to become aware of them, then to accept them. To wholeheartedly admit that we have a pattern. Not to defend it, justify it or ridicule it. Just accept what is. ⁣

The more we accept and raise our awareness the better we can see ourselves externally executing these patterns of relating. This then can give us a whole new level of discipline - we know then that every time life presents the tempting opportunity to to perfectly act out our pattern - we don’t. We respond differently. We respond in a way that is functional instead of dysfunctional. ⁣

Respond differently. Sounds easy but it isn’t, because that pattern is your comfort zone. There will come a day where you will respond differently. As long as you keep staying aware and observing what is going on. You can respond differently and adopt new mechanisms. You really can.

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